Setting: Airport Control Tower. Night.
Sonia: Without the automated landing program, the plane can't land?
John: That's right. That bug in the program crippled the plane.
Sonia: Why can't they fix it?
John: Because the plane doesn't carry any programmers, dammit!
Our pilots are the best in the business, but they just weren't trained
to debug the plane's goddam software and fly the plane at the same time!
Bob (entering with clipboard): Wait! The plane's manifest shows
that there is a passenger on board, Jonny Rebuto, who IS a programmer!
John (grabbing ground-to-air mike): Flight 21, come in...
Pilot: This is Flight 21. We're running low on fuel. We've GOT
to land, and SOON!
John: McIntyre, listen. There's a passenger on board by the name
of Jonny Rebuto. He's a programmer. Find him, and there's just a chance
he could debug the landing program in time!
Pilot: Debug the landing program! I've got 17 minutes of fuel left.
What do you expect me to fly this thing on - after dinner mints?
John: I know it's a longshot, McIntyre, but it's the only chance
we've got. Find him!
Pilot: I have an alternate plan, care to hear it?
John: Go ahead.
Pilot: We disconnect all the computers and fly this baby in the
old way - with our two good eyes and hands!
John: McIntyre, look out the window and tell me what you see.
Pilot: Nothing.
John: The little windows on that plane are just for show. You can't
even see down. It was meant to be landed by computer, and there's no other
way. Besides, there are no manual switches for the landing gear anyhow.
You better get Rebuto in there pronto!
Two female flight attendants drag Jonny Rebuto into the cockpit.
Jonny: You guys don't understand. I write WordPerfect and Lotus
macros for the idiots upstairs! That's all! I can't do THIS. I just can't
do it, do you hear me?
John (over the plane's radio): Okay, take it easy Jonny,
it's just a few thousand lines of assembler code. I'm gonna talk you through
it... Now sit down. You see that rectangle with all the little squares
in front of you?
Jonny: [Tentatively] Yes...
John: Good. That's the keyboard. Now, in the top corner you'll
see a little key with the letters E, S, and C. That's the ESCAPE key,
Jonny. When I say go, I want you to press that key, okay, Jonny?
Jonny: What if I can't do it? I don't want to be responsible for
all these people's lives!
Sonia (grabs the mike): Jonny, close your eyes for a minute.
Visualize the plane as a great, big, beautiful bird, sailing gracefully
over the city. Do you see it?
Jonny: Yes, yes I do...
Sonia: Now picture yourself riding the back of this giant bird,
dressed in the armor of an ancient warrior.
Jonny: Yes, I see it...
Sonia: The stars are resplendent above you, a vast tapestry of
tiny lights, and the moon is bright white orb illuminating the night sky.
Jonny: Yes, yes...
Sonia: Now imagine that beautiful bird slamming into the ground
at Mach 1.5 and blowing up in a giant fireball, throwing fiery droplets
of flaming jet fuel that burrow into your skin, burning you like some
kind of evil insect, while you are surrounded by the screech of grinding
broken metal and the tortured screams of 350 other dying human beings,
with no choice but to DIE, DIE, DIE like rats trapped in some kind of
horrible tunnel of death!!! Visualize THAT!
Jonny: Aaaagggghhhhhh!
Sonia: Land the damn plane or that won't be no TV show, that will
be your real life in about 14 minutes and 22 seconds, hear me, you screwball
corporate ass-kissing number-crunching chip-jockey?
Jonny stares straight ahead, eyes glazed, trying to catch his breath.
John takes the mike back from Sonia. He is beginning to sweat.
John: Listen to me, it's gonna be okay, Jonny, I'll be right here
on the radio with you the whole time, walking you through every step.
And your Department Manager is on his way over to the airport right now.
He says you can do it. You trust him, don't you Jonny?
Jonny: Uh...
John: He was working on your 6-month evaluation when we interrupted
him...
Jonny: Okay, okay. I'll do it.
John: Good boy!
Jonny: Okay, I see the ESCAPE key. What do you want me to do?
John [sweating profusely]: When I say go, I want you to
press the ESCAPE key just once, Jonny. Can you do that, Jonny? Can you
do that for me?
Jonny: Yeah. Yeah, sure. I can press the key, I guess.
John: Alright, when I count to three.
Sonia and Bob look on anxiously in the CONTROL TOWER as John counts.
Frank, Jonny's Department Manager, is ushered into the room in the background.
The tension builds...
John: Here goes. One..., Two......
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